Friday, July 25, 2014

Writing Is Like Sex.



























Dusty Miller




Writing is like sex. When it’s good, it’s great, and when it’s bad, it’s still kind of okay.

Now, the only trouble with oral sex is the view.

For that I need a blindfold and Vivaldi’s Four Seasons.

Once an author has attained certain basic, minimum professional requirements of spelling, grammar, punctuation and style, you will never regret having written something.

You might regret what happens after that, and yet at the time, you needed to write something.

There is a huge emotional component to what we write.

We are giving somebody something that they need.

There’s more to it.

You needed to write that piece, no matter how other folks reacted to it. The most usual bad reaction is to simply ignore it.

In which case why write it.

Just like sex, with your writing, you can get yourself in an awful lot of trouble. Gate-keeping of the personal kind, (knowing when to spike a story or simply zip our cake-hole) i.e. not letting someone else decide for you, (by calling you out, sending the cops to your home, suing your ass off, etc.), well, it is a bit like wearing a condom or using the pill.

(Totally off the record, I fuckin’ hate commas outside the brackets.)

It’s an effort to avoid giving birth to some real trouble.

You wrote it, you published it…you started this fight, and you need to remember that.

If you don’t like fighting, don’t start it.

Sometimes it’s better if we keep our pants on, nudge-nudge, wink-wink. Say no more.

The most important part of the story, like the orgasm, is how it ends. Rarely in real life are we happily-ever-after, but there’s always another story, another book, another M-BILF.

(Mommy-Blogger I’d Like to Fuck.)*

*sorry, ladies, but the occasional male reads the blog too. And we must keep the bastards coming back, eh?

Incidentally, for you guys in them other countries, you are certainly welcome to  think of me while you masturbate. I get emails on that all the time. I’ll see if we can find a better pic for you!

Smooches.

Byeee!


END