Showing posts with label comedy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label comedy. Show all posts

Monday, November 23, 2015

Excerpt from Pickup, by Constance 'Dusty' Miller.





Constance 'Dusty' Miller

It was ten below zero and the snow was going sideways. The sun was down, and while the glow in the west was spectacular, all purple and orange and salmon-pink, the rest of the sky was metallic blue and darkening.

Tammy’s pickup truck had made it exactly one mile from the Circle-J (as Rick had always called it) where she waited tables and slung corned-beef hash five shifts a week, days or nights or afternoons. 

She had twenty minutes to pick up the piglet or staff, Mrs. Stumpf for sure, were going to have all the usual things to say.

Something had broken, and smoke or steam billowed out around the rim of the hood, whipped away by half a gale. Something was burning up under there. The smell wasn’t good. Throwing off her seat-belt, worried about fire, she got out of passenger side as quickly as she could, struggling to push the door against the power of the wind. Traffic on the I-59 slipped and slithered past, throwing slush. 

Tires hissed on wet black pavement and the wind howled in her ears.

A small, upscale black coupe pulled in just past the nose of the battered 1997 Ford three-quarter ton four-by-four, a work-truck. It was the only tangible legacy of her late husband Richard.

Connor hit the passenger-side window button and leaned over as the lady came up beside his car.

She looked to be about twenty-two.

“Hi. Looks like you’re having some problems there. I was wondering if I could help.”

***

He lowered the hood with a bang, nipping back to the Beemer, shaking like a leaf.

Connor dropped into the seat, grateful for the warmth. The windows were already steaming up as her wet coat dried slowly.

“Yeah. It’s just the radiator, it’s not on fire. It’s nothing electrical.”

He ignored traces of tears on her face and the sniffling, which could easily be put down to a cold.

“Okay, we’d better get into town and get your daughter and then I’ll drive you home.” He cleared his throat. “I’ve got the Auto Club, and I get three free emergency tows a year…”

He looked into those eyes.

“I’ll just say you’re a family member, right? Uh…if that’s all right with you.” Too upset to think, she didn’t question it, or the need for the sticker on the rear bumper.

She nodded, fumbling around in her voluminous purse. Connor opened up the centre console, pulling out a handy-pack of tissues.

“Here.”

“Thank you.”

“Connor.” He reached for the gear lever, resisting the urge to pat her leg.

She nodded.

“Thank you, Connor.” The voice was low, a bit husky, but calm.

Anyone could see she was having a bad day.

He kept his foot on the brake, studying the mirror. There was a long line of traffic coming up from behind and in the slop, it took a while to get moving. People drove insanely fast in bad weather, in fact he did it himself. If he pooched this, there was going to be one hell of a pile-up.

The wipers were barely keeping up and visibility was getting down near zero.

She blew her nose and crumpled the tissue. He proffered a hand, still watching the mirror, and she reluctantly gave it up.

Connor had a small yellow trash bag, a freebie from the DMV, stuffed into the leather pocket on the back of the passenger seat. He disposed of the moist thing, resisting the urge to wipe his hand on his pant-leg or something…

“And you…?”

“Tammy. Tammy Larsson. Two esses.”

“So. Might as well get moving.”

“Okay.”

She took a breath and with a quick gulp, told him where she lived, which he already knew.

Depth perception was gone under these conditions, but he thought he could do it and so he went.

The rear wheels spun and then caught. They were coming up fast from behind…someone put on a signal and pulled into the other lane. That one was about as close as he cared to make it.

Even after a long day on her feet, she smelled like a woman.

There was always going to be that little rush in the guts.

***

Her daughter’s name was Riley, which Connor thought was a great name for a kid, but Tammy called her piglet as often as not.

The day-care centre was in the centre of Fergus Falls, Minnesota. The town survived as a market and supply centre for the surrounding farm area. It was also a bit of a retirement and bedroom community for larger centres just a few miles down the road. Other than that, there wasn’t much going on if you didn’t own a business, a farm, or work for the government.

He watched her, head down, going up the front steps into the front doors of the daycare.

Predictably, his phone was buzzing. It was Reb, his wingman.

“Hey, buddy. Nice work.” Reb’s cheerful voice came in over the ether.

“Yeah. She’s inside getting the kid.”

“So how do you think we’re doing so far?”

“Yeah. We’re doing all right.”

“I’m just around the corner.”

Reb’s face was invisible when the old wrecker, long out of service but lovingly restored to working condition, cruised past in the darkening night.

A few minutes had gone by and the light had completely gone. Connor watched the front lobby, the place apparently deserted although all the lights were still on.

The staff couldn’t really leave until the last parent-kid combo had gone.


(End of excerpt.) 



Editor's note: this is a work in progress and all content is subject to change and revision.



Thursday, June 25, 2015

Pre-Order The Immigrants, by Constance 'Dusty' Miller.






























Constancee 'Dusty' Miller





My new romantic short story, The Immigrants, is now available for pre-order on various platforms. The book will go live on July 26, 2015 and pre-orders will be charged and delivered on that date to customer accounts from participating online bookstores.

It’s a first for us here at Long Cool One Books, and in terms of publishing, it’s easier than we expected. The only exception would be Kobo, where publishing assistant Ivan P. Krumholtz says he can’t find a delayed publishing or pre-order button. He got around that by basically entering all the information and then just saving it without publishing, (see: save and go back to library button on Kobo Writing Life.)

In the past, we sort of shied away from pre-orders, which was basically just a case of negative thinking. The assumption was that no one was going to order it anyways, and so why do it? 

We were basically just opening ourselves up for heartache and disappointment. If you read this Smashwords blog post, you’ll see that there are plenty of things an author can do to support a pre-order. There’s also some flexibility. If something’s a real pain in the ass, we just won’t do it. If something, (chapter reveals for example) promises or shows effectiveness, then we’ll focus on that. That’s an opportunity, and pessimism goes out the window. That’s a step forward on our own personal journey, no matter how many people pre-order the book.

This time around we’re going to challenge some assumptions. Why not start right here at home, right?



We’ve been thinking about this for some time. What decided us was getting an email notification of assetless pre-orders from Smashwords. We’re a bit leery about promising something we haven’t finished yet, but it was interesting to fill out all the metadata, upload and check the formatting, knowing the book wouldn’t come out for over a month. In the past, we basically published it and it came live right away. That way we got some instant feedback, and maybe that was the attraction in terms of author satisfaction or something.

They also say this is a business.

Here’s our sales copy:

Maria sets out on the adventure of a lifetime. She’s leaving France, now decadent and corrupt, and heading for America, which is still young, and strong and vigorous. Travelling on the S.S. France on the Atlantic crossing has its own perils. She’s been getting an awful lot of male attention, and she’s realistic enough to know that it’s a ship. They have six days and six nights, and then none of them will never see each other again. As for a certain Monsieur Yusuf Khoury, there’s something just a little bit different about that one. Dusty Miller’s The Immigrants is a short and romantic story of young love and long odds.

This is a romance of about 15,000 words and is priced at $0.99.



The Immigrants will become available for pre-order on the following platforms after internal review:





Readers will be find it at other fine bookstores including Barnes & Noble, Chapters/Indigo, Oyster, Overdrive, etc.

Thank you for reading.


END